What is Sex Work?
Information
Sex work is when someone provides sexual services to another person in exchange for something of value.
That "something of value" isn't always just money. It can also be:
💰Money:
This is the most common form of payment.
💊 Drugs:
Clients can offer or receive drugs in exchange for sex.
🏠 Accommodation (a place to stay):
Someone might offer a room or a place to live in return for sexual services.
🚌✈️ Travel:
Clients can offer to pay for travel expenses eg bus ticket, train fare, or a holiday/trip in exchange for sexual services.
🍎👕 Other things:
It could be things like food, clothes, or other goods or favors.
Basically, if someone is giving sexual services and getting something back for it, that's sex work. It's a way some people earn what they need or want.
Basic Sex Work Laws & Information
🔞 Sex Worker must:
Be 18 years old or over. In some places the legal age is 21 to do sex work.
Wear a condom for Oral, Anal and Vaginal sex. Passing an STI/HIV on is a crime in most countrie
🔞 Under 18?
It is not sex work is exploitation.
Contact the police with someone you trust.
Keep messages & evidence
You will not be in trouble - your clients might be.
🔞 Clients must be aged 18+
🧑⚖️ Local Laws:
Every country, city or town will have different laws sex workers must follow.
Laws can be used to help back up your statements and add extra protection if something goes wrong.
ℹ️ Learn More here:
Male Sex Work Safety Information
STI|STD|Virus Risk Reduction Information
🤝 Working with Caregivers/Helpers:
The Client Decides:
A caregiver can help explain things, but they cannot say "yes" for the client.
Only the client can say "yes" for their own body.
Hands Off:
If a client needs help getting into the room or onto the bed, let the helper do it.
Do not lift the client yourself. This protects you if they get a bruise or a fall.
Your Power:
You are the boss of your body. You can say "No" and end the session at any time.
Coercion/Forcing into Sex Work Industry:
Sometimes pressure doesn't look like a punch; it looks like "favours" or "guilt." If you feel you have to do sex work to survive or keep someone happy, that is not a choice.
🛑 Signs of Guilt-Tripping
It is not a free choice if they say:
"If you loved me, you’d do this for us."
"I pay for everything, so you owe me this."
"I’ve done so much for you; it’s your turn to help."
"Don't be selfish; we need the money."
👊 Signs of Bullying & Threats
It is not a free choice if they threaten to:
Hurt you or someone you care about.
Kick you out of the house.
Take your money or your phone.
Tell your family, friends, or boss your secrets.
Report you to the police or immigration.
🚩 Other Red Flags for Men
Isolation: They try to stop you from seeing your mates or your family.
Control: They handle all the bookings and take a "cut" of your money.
Shaming: They tell you that "no one else will want you" or "you’re lucky to have this."
The "Man Up" Trap: They tell you that because you are a man, you should "just get on with it" and stop complaining.
Support ? or Forced/Coercion? Information
ℹ️ Information on how to Support:
If a friend is thinking about sex work, or is already doing it, being a "good mate" means being a solid backup, not a judge.
✅ How to Listen
Don't judge: Let him talk without acting shocked or disappointed.
Just listen: He might just need to vent. You don't always have to "fix" it.
Ask why: Try to understand if he's doing it for extra cash, out of curiosity, or because he’s in a tight spot.
✅ Be Honest, Not Bossy
Share the facts: Talk about the risks (safety, health, and the law) as well as the money.
Speak up if you're worried: It’s okay to say, "I’m worried about your safety," as long as you aren't shouting at him.
Keep his secrets: Don't tell other mates or family. He needs to know he can trust you.
✅ Real Help (When He Asks)
Check-ins: Offer to be the person he texts to say "I’m safe" after a booking.
Healthcare: Offer to go with him to the sexual health clinic if he's nervous.
Support groups: Help him find websites or groups specifically for sex workers.
Be a fallback: Let him know that if he wants to quit, you’ll help him find a different way to make money.
✅ Respect His Lead
It’s his life: At the end of the day, he’s an adult. He makes the final call.
Stay in his corner: Even if you don't like the job or worried, make sure he knows you're still his mate.
"I'm here": Tell him clearly: "I might not love the idea, but I’ve got your back no matter what."
In the sex industry, your health is your wealth.
✅ Get a Full Sexual Health Screen
✅ Be Honest: Tell the nurse/Doctor you are doing sex work. They will give you a deeper, more helpful check-up.
✅ Get the Swabs:
get throat and
anal swabs.
✅ Ask about availability of:
PEP
PrEP
Doxy-PEP
✅ Get STI/STD Vaccines:
Ask for vaccines for:
Hepatitis B,
HPV, and
Hepatitis A.
📸 The "Snapshot" Rule
A clean test is just a snapshot:
It shows you were healthy on the day of the test.
It doesn't show STI/HIV when caught within weeks.
No STI/HIV? Still Use a Condom:
Even if your latest test is clear, never work without a condom.
It can take up to 3 months for a full positive HIV result.
Use condoms for oral, vaginal, and anal sex. No exceptions.
The Lube
Using lube can reduce your risk of getting an STI or HIV when used correctly. It stops your skin from tearing and keeps the condom from breaking.
1. Put a Small Drop Inside
Put only one small drop of lube inside the tip of the condom before you roll it on.
This keeps your skin from getting sore, but ensures the condom stays tight and doesn't slide off.
2. Put the Rest on the Outside
Put most of your water-based lube on the outside of the condom or on your client.
This stops the friction that causes skin tears and HIV risks.
⚠️ Important Information
Got an STI/Signs? Stop Working:
Do not see clients until a doctor gives you the 100% all-clear.
Create a Reminder:
Set a recurring alarm on your phone for every 3 months. E.g. "Maintenance Day
Protect Your Health Record:
In many places, passing on an infection is a crime. Having a history of clean tests and using condoms may help protects you legally. Sex workers are often discriminated against globally.
No Stupid Questions:
If you see a bump, a rash, or anything weird "down there," get it checked immediately.
How to put Condom
Uncut/Foreskin
How to put on a Condom on Tight Foreskins| Phimosis
How to put on a Condom on a Cut | Circumcised Penis Info
⚠️ Store in a cool dry place for no Damage: Make sure the package isn't damaged.
👍 Internal condoms are latex free.
❌ No Double Condoms. Don't use an internal and external condom together.
1. Prep
Check:
Check the the date, so it isn't expired
The packet is not damaged and had air in it.
Open:
Use your Lube free fingers.
Do not use teeth
Do not use scissors.
2. The Setup
Remove the inner ring:
Squeeze the loose ring inside and pull it out, you do not need it for anal sex.
Lube:
Add plenty of water-based or silicone lube to the inside of the condom
the outside of the condom
3. Insertion
Nail Check:
Make sure the finger you use to push the condom in has a short, smooth nail to avoid internal scratches.
Push in:
Use your finger to push the closed end of the condom into the anus.
Outer Ring:
The large, open ring must stay outside the body. It should lay flat against the skin.
4. During Sex
Guide it in:
Use your hand to guide the penis or toy into the centre of the condom.
Stop if it slips:
If the penis goes between the condom and the skin, or if the outer ring is pushed inside, stop and fix it.
5. Removal & Disposal
Twist:
Twist the outer ring to keep the fluid inside.
Pull:
Gently pull the condom out.
Bin it:
Wrap it in tissue and put it in the bin. Never reuse it.
Flavoured Condoms:
These are designed specifically for oral sex/blowjobs
They contain sugars or sweeteners to make them taste better.
Do not put on with your mouth
❌ Never use flavoured condoms for anal or vaginal sex.
The sugars can cause yeast infections (thrush) or mess with the natural pH balance.
Some people are sensitive to the flavouring agents, which can cause itching or a rash.
Dental Dams
Oral-anal contact/Rimming or
Oral Vaginal going down/eating out
Barrier Against:
Bodily Fluids poo/shit/ feces, pre-cum, vaginal fluids, blood) that can carry STIs and bacteria.
Proper Coverage:
When used correctly, a dental dam should fully cover the vulva or anus, providing a protective layer during oral contact.
DIY from Condoms:
A dental dam can be made by carefully cutting off the tip and base of a non-lubricated condom and then slicing it lengthwise to create a flat sheet of latex.
Water & Silicon Lube Basic Safety Information
14 Places To Get Condoms from
🏥 Sexual Health Clinics (often free)
🫂 Sex Worker Organisations (often free)
⚕️ Public Health Departments/Units (may be free)
💉 Needle Exchange Programs (may be free)
🎓 Student Health Services (often free for students)
💊 Pharmacies 🛒
🏪 Supermarkets/Grocery Stores Convenience Stores
🌐 Online Retailers
👶 Family Planning Clinics
🧑🤝🧑 Youth Centres (may be free)
🏘️ Community Centres (may occasionally have free supplies)
🚻 Vending Machines (in some public restrooms or entertainment venues)
🏨 Hotels (may sell them, sometimes in vending machines or upon request)
🔞 Sex Shops
The 3 Stages
Money laundering usually follows a three-step process to hide the "dirty" origin of the cash.
Placement: This is the riskiest stage. The "dirty" cash is physically placed into a legitimate business or bank account.
Example: A client asks you to accept a massive cash payment far above your usual rate.
Layering: The money is moved around through many different transactions to make it hard for the police to track.
Example: A client pays you via an app, then asks you to "refund" it to a different person or account, or asks you to buy gift cards or crypto for them.
Integration: The money is now "clean." It appears as legitimate income (like a payment for a service) and can be spent by the criminal without raising red flags.
🚩 Red Flags: How to Spot a "Favour"
If a client asks for a "favour" regarding payment, it is often a trap. Watch out for:
Overpayments: They "accidentally" pay you £5,000 instead of £500 and ask you to send the difference back to a "friend's" account.
Third-Party Payments: Someone else pays for the client's service, or the client asks you to receive money on behalf of someone else.
Requesting Cash Exchanges: They ask you to take their cash and send them a bank transfer or buy something for them online.
Vague Business Advice: They offer to "invest" in your business or help you "set up a company" that you don't actually need.
⚖️ The Legal Risk
In the UK and many other countries, "Money Laundering" isn't just about the person who committed the original crime. You can be charged with:
Assisting: Helping a criminal hide their money.
Possession: Simply holding or "laundering" money that you suspect came from a crime.
Failure to Disclose: If you are a professional and you suspect money laundering but don't report it, you could be held legally responsible.
Appointment |
Booking Times Info
Location/Invite:
Where are you going to do your sex work.
In Calls| Your Place
Location chosen by the sex worker, Your home, a shared location by other sex workers.
Brothels - a house/apartment where multiple males work from.
Out Calls | Travel
Location chosen by the client, the worker travels to hotel, home etc of client.
Always know where you are and have multiple ways to get out.
Don't rely on the money from the job for your taxi or public transport.
Freelance/Street Work
Going to bars or legal areas frequented by clients. The most risky. This can be the most dangerous type of sex work.
High Risk
A common misconception is that by charging less you will get more clients - this very rarely true. There will always be quiet days/nights - this doesn't mean you have to drop your rates.
Do not charge for the action - ie oral sex/blow job. This can last at along longer and isn't cost effective.
The amount you charge should include the following.
👉 Cost of supplies (condoms, lube, sex toys)
👉 Venue hire: cost of the room
👉 Transport: usually a taxi is the preferred method.
👉 Set up time: Making sure everything is clean and disinfected
👉 Clean up time: cleaning sheets, lube bottle, disinfecting surfaces and items.
👉 Extra's: Fisting, role play, costumes, cumming/ejaculation etc
👉 Beverages offered: soda, wine, beer etc.
👉 Medication/Check ups: The cost of PrEP and getting a STI/STD check up.
👉 Personal worth - charge what you are worth - what will make it worth it to you.
👉 Tax - The amount of ta you have to pay.
Lower prices does not mean more clients
Discounts:
Some people can become hard/erect without help, others need something to help them get an erection/hard.
Talk to a medical professional before taking any dodgy blue pill a client, sex worker or drug dealer offers you.
It's okay not get an erection. Not every client can make it happen.
If this happens;
Remember you make the rules, e.g.:
If your clothes are off and you have tried a client should still pay you.
It's unlikely they will see you again - that's okay.
If you find yourself getting erect with clients often then it may be a good time to consider whether you should continue doing sex work.
🚩 Clients that ask for a discount are a BIG red flag. Trust your gut.
⚠️ This is for informational use only.
3 Genders you can work with:
Male to Male Sex Work
Male to Female
Male to Trans | Gender Fluid
Definitions of other options:
Gay for Pay:
Males who might not think of themselves as gay or bisexual in their personal lives, but they have sex with male clients for money. It's like a job.
Companion (More Than Just Sex) :
Some male sex workers can offer more than just sex .
They might provide companionship, go out for dinner, theatre, Opera, ballet etc. As well as have conversations, and offer emotional support.
The physical part might be less of a focus or not required for satisfaction.
Trans for Pay:
Males who who offer sexual services as trans. When they don't identify as trans outside of work.
Their experiences and the services they offer can be diverse, just like any other sex worker.
Escort:
This term often suggests a more professional service.
Escorts might charge more and cater to clients looking for discretion, travel companions, or a more "gentlemanly" experience that can include but isn't always limited to sex.
It's definition can vary widely.
Street work/Freelancer:
Male sex workers who solicit/get clients in public places like streets, parks or bars.
This is high risk
It can sometimes imply a more survival-based form of sex work.
Gigolo (Often Female Clients):
While the term can be used more broadly for male sex workers
it sometimes specifically implies male sex workers who primarily cater to female clients.
House Boy | Living with Client
Sexual services in return for accommodation, food, money.
High Risk
Online/Cam Worker:
Male sex workers connect with clients and provide services online through webcam platforms or by advertising on websites.
Masseur (Sometimes with Extras):
Males who offer sexual services in addition to massage. This can be a way to find clients discreetly. This should be done by ideally someone with qualifications.
Setting Boundaries/
Recording Triggers
🧠 Bottoming
Mental Prep
🧠 Getting Your Mind Ready🧘
Just like your body, your mind needs to be ready for bottoming. Here's how to mentally prepare:
🤝 Practice Makes Easier (with Someone You Trust):
If you're new to bottoming, try practicing with a partner who isn't a client. This can help you get used to the sensations and figure out what feels comfortable in a safe and relaxed space.
🧘 Relax Your Muscles, Relax Your Mind:
Tension can make bottoming uncomfortable or even painful. Focus on taking deep breaths and trying to relax your anal muscles. A relaxed mind helps a relaxed body.
🫵 🛑 You're Always in Control to Stop:
Remember, you can stop offering bottoming as a service at any time. Your comfort and well-being come first. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. A booking time doesn't determine how you bottom.
📝 Plan for After:
Mentally prepare for the end of the session, including how you'll handle condom removal and clean up. Knowing what to expect can ease anxiety.
💊 Know Your PEP Plan:
If you're concerned about HIV exposure, know how to access PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis) quickly. Having a plan can reduce stress.
Click here for more info and locations.
🤔 Trust Your Gut Feelings:
If a client or situation makes you feel uneasy about bottoming, it's okay to say no and end a booking early. Your intuition is there to protect you.
🫵 🛑 Your Body, Your Rules:
Stop Anytime!
Even if you've started, you can say "stop" at any point if you feel pain, discomfort, or just change your mind. Your consent is ongoing.
🤷 It's Not for Everyone:
Bottoming isn't something every male sex worker has to do. It's okay if it's not for you. Some clients prefer top/givers only.
🤔 Personal is Personal:
Sometimes, certain intimate acts might feel better kept for your personal relationships, not your work life. It's healthy to have those boundaries.
Mentally preparing involves knowing your limits, having a plan for safety, and remembering that you are always in control of what you do with your body.
💊 Gastro Stop Pills: Use with Care!
Gastro Stop (loperamide) can stop diarrhea by slowing down your bowels. It can be helpful for sudden diarrhea, but it's important to use it carefully:
👉 Don't use it for just anything. Diarrhea can be your body getting rid of something bad.
👉 Follow the instructions on the packet. Don't take more than you should.
👉 Don't use it for too long. If your diarrhea doesn't stop in a couple of days, or if you have other problems like fever or blood in your poo, see a doctor.
👉 Talk to a doctor or pharmacist if you have questions or if you have other health conditions.
Gastro Stop can provide quick relief, but it's not a long-term solution and can sometimes hide more serious problems. It can also cause side effects like constipation.
Think of it this way: Be gentle with douching, eat plenty of fiber to keep things regular and comfortable, and use Gastro Stop carefully and only when you really need it for diarrhea, and always follow the instructions. Taking care of your gut health in these different ways can help you feel better overall.
🔚 👋 After Bottom
After Bottoming:
Taking Care of Yourself! 🚿
The session is over, but your self-care isn't! Here's what's best to do after bottoming:
👀🩸 Check for Blood, Gently:
After showering, take a moment to gently check your anus for any signs of bleeding or irritation. You can use a mirror to help. Small amounts of redness or mild soreness can happen, but any noticeable bleeding should be a concern. If you see blood, it's best to avoid more anal sex until it's fully healed.
🧼🚿 Head Straight for the Shower:
Gently wash the anal area with mild soap and warm water. This helps to remove any fluids, lube, or potential germs. Avoid harsh scrubbing.
🤔🛌 Listen to Your Body: Time to Rest?
Pay attention to how your body feels. If you're feeling sore, tired, or uncomfortable, it's okay to say you're not up for more bottoming or any other strenuous activity. Your comfort and well-being are important. Don't feel pressured to do more if your body is telling you to rest.
💧 Rehydrate:
Drink some water to help your body recover.
Gentle Cleaning (If You can't Shower):
If you can't shower right away, try to gently wipe the area with a soft, damp cloth or a water based cleaner wipe. Shower as soon as you can.
🤔 Consider Aftercare:
Some people find gentle, water-based lube applied externally can help soothe any mild irritation.
Key Takeaway:
After bottoming, prioritise cleaning the area gently, checking for any signs of injury, and most importantly, listening to your body's signals about whether you're ready for more activity or need to rest. Taking this time for self-care helps protect your health and well-being. ❤️
Know Your Body:
Note: These quick checks are not a substitute for regular, thorough self-exams and regular visits to a sexual health clinic or doctor. They are just an extra layer of awareness to help you stay on top of your body's health.
Make it a habit: A quick peek before and a gentle scan after – it's all part of looking out for yourself 👍
Why a Pre-Check?
Know Your Baseline: It helps you remember what your "normal" looks and feels like, so you're more likely to spot something new later. Notice any blood? How is your anus feeling?
Peace of Mind: Knowing you're starting the encounter feeling okay can give you more confidence.
👀 Quick Look After :
Gentle Scan: After the encounter, take a few moments (maybe when you're showering or getting changed) to gently look at the same areas: penis and groin area, anus, mouth, skin that had contact. Any blood?
Notice Anything New: Are there any new red marks, irritation, or anything that wasn't there before?
Information for Later: If you do notice something a few days later, having a mental note of what things looked like right after can be helpful information for a doctor.
🤔 What to Do If You See Something:
Don't Panic! Not every spot or bump is serious, but it's always best to be sure.
Don't Try to Treat It Yourself. Let a doctor or nurse take a look.
Go to a Clinic or Doctor: They can give you a proper check-up and tell you what's going on. Sexual health clinics are really good for this.
Be Honest: Tell the doctor or nurse about your work so they can give you the best advice and tests.
Taking care of your body is part of taking care of your business and your health! Regular checks help keep you and your clients safer.
🩸 Bloody Client
If you see blood during a client interaction, it's important to stop what you're doing and take steps to stay safe and prevent the spread of germs, STIs/STDs. Here's the best and safest way to handle it in simple terms:
🛑 If You See Blood: Stop!
Everyone Stop: As soon as you or the client sees blood, stop the sexual activity right away.
Don't Keep Going: Continuing when there's blood can increase the risk of infections and HIV for everyone involved.
🛑 If You See Blood During Anal Sex: Stop! It Needs Time to Heal!
Everyone Stop:
As soon as you or the client sees blood during anal sex, stop the activity immediately.
Cuts Need Time to Heal:
The anus is a delicate area, and even small tears or cuts can bleed. If this happens, it needs time to heal properly. Don't continue the anal sex or any other activity that puts pressure on that area. Doing so can make the injury worse, cause more bleeding, and increase the risk of infection and pain.
Your Safety and Comfort Always Come First!
Consent Can Be Removed: Remember, you can withdraw your consent at any point, even if bleeding starts. You have the right to say "stop" and the client must respect that. Bleeding is a clear sign that something isn't right, and continuing is not safe.
What to Do Next if it happens to you:
Clean Up Gently:
Wash the area gently with mild soap and water.
Let It Heal:
Avoid any anal sex or activities that strain the area until it is fully healed and no longer sore. This might take a few days or longer.
Consider Medical Advice:
If the bleeding is heavy, doesn't stop quickly, or is very painful, it's a good idea to see a doctor to get it checked out.
Key Things to Remember:
❌ Blood during anal sex means stop.
🕒 The anus needs time to heal after a cut.
Continuing can cause more damage and infection and increase HIV risk.
⚠️Your consent to continue can be removed at any time.⚠️
Safety First! 🧽🧤
Avoid Touching Directly:
If possible, don't touch the blood directly with your bare skin. If you have gloves, put them on.
Wash Up:
Wash any part of your body that might have come into contact with the blood thoroughly with soap and water as soon as you can.
Tell the Client to Wash Too:
Ask the client to wash their body as well.
Clean the Area (If Needed): 🧼🧴
🧽 🧻 If blood got on surfaces:
If blood has gotten on sheets, towels, or other surfaces, it's best to clean them as soon as possible using soap and water. If you have disinfectant, you can use that too.
Think About Health Afterwards (Important!): 🧑⚕️🏥
🧪 Get Checked Out:
It's a really good idea for both you and the client to get checked out by a doctor or at a sexual health clinic after there's been blood during sex. This is because blood can carry infections like HIV and hepatitis.
🧑⚕️ Be Honest with the Doctor:
Tell the doctor what happened so they can give you the right tests and advice.
💊 PEP (If You Think There Was a Risk):
If you think there was a significant risk of HIV exposure (like if the client is HIV positive and the condom broke or wasn't used), ask the doctor about PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis). It's a medicine that can help prevent HIV if started very soon after exposure (ideally within 24-72 hours).
Key Things to Remember:
👉 Blood can carry germs, STI's/STDS HIV.
👉 Stop if you see blood.
👉 Wash yourself and ask the client to wash.
👉 Use a new condom if you continue.
👉 Get medical advice afterwards.
Your health and comfort are paramount. Don't push through pain or bleeding. Allow your body time to heal.
Stalker Client:
Imagine a client who just won't leave you alone, even after your work together is done. That could be a stalker. Here are some signs, what to do, and how to stay safe:
🚩 Signs a Client Might Be a Stalker:
📞 📱📧 Too Many Messages/Calls:
The client contact you way more than needed, sending tons of texts, calls, or messages on social media, even when you don't reply or say you're busy. 📱➡️🤯
👀 🏠 Showing Up Unexpectedly:
The client starts appearing at places you didn't tell them about, like near your home, your regular hangouts, or even your other job.
🕵️ Asking Too Many Personal Questions:
The client gets really nosy about your private life, your family, or where you live, even though it's not part of your work.
🚫➡️😠 Ignoring "No" or "Stop":
You've told them you're not interested in seeing them again or that they're crossing a line, but they keep trying anyway.
😡 Angry or Upset When You Say No:
The client react badly when you turn them down or set boundaries, maybe getting mean or trying to make you feel guilty.
😠 Trying to Control You:
The client might try to tell you what to do, who you can see, or get jealous if you see other clients.
🎁➡️😬 Giving Unwanted Gifts:
The client keeps sending you gifts, even after you've asked them to stop. 1 It might seem nice, but it can be a way to try and control you or make you feel like you owe them something.
🚶♂️➡️👀 Following You:
You notice them watching you or seeing them in places you've been, even if it seems like a coincidence at first.
😨 Threatening Behaviour:
The client says or does things that make you feel scared or unsafe. This is a huge red flag.
🛡️ What to Do If You Think a Client is Stalking You:
🚫 Be Clear and Firm:
Tell them directly and clearly (in writing if possible) that you do not want to see them anymore and that their behavior is making you uncomfortable. Keep it simple and don't leave any room for misunderstanding. "I am no longer available to see you. Please do not contact me again."
🚫 Stop All Contact:
Block their phone number, social media accounts, and any other way they can reach you. Don't reply to their messages, even if they try new ways to get in touch. Ignoring them completely takes away their power.
📝 Keep Records:
Save any messages, emails, voicemails, or notes about when and where they've tried to contact you or shown up. This can be important if you need to involve the police.
🗣️ Tell Someone You Trust:
Talk to a friend, family member, or another sex worker about what's happening. Having someone who knows can provide support and help you stay safe.
🔄 📆 Change Your Routine:
If you can, try to change your regular habits and routes to make it harder for them to find you.
🔒📹 Increase Your Security:
Think about ways to make your home or workspace safer, like changing locks, getting security cameras, or using a buddy system if you work with others.
📜 Consider a Restraining Order/Protection Order:
If the stalking is serious or you feel unsafe, talk to the police or a legal aid organization about getting a restraining order or protection order. This is a legal document that tells the person they can't come near you or contact you.
How to Keep Yourself Safe from Stalker Clients:
🤫 Personal Information Private:
Don't share your real name, address, phone number, or details about your personal life with clients. Use a separate phone number or app for work.
📬 Use a PO Box or Business Address:
If you need to receive mail for work, use a PO box or a business address instead of your home address.
👀 Be Cautious on Social Media:
Keep your work and personal social media accounts separate and be careful about what you share publicly on your personal accounts.
🤔➡️🚫 Trust Your Gut:
If a client makes you feel uneasy or gives you a bad feeling, even if they haven't done anything "wrong" yet, it's okay to end the interaction or refuse future bookings. Your intuition is often right.
🪪 Screen Clients:
If possible, try to screen new clients. Ask for information beforehand and see if anything feels off.
📍Let Someone Know Where you are:
If you're meeting a client, especially a new one, tell a friend or colleague where you're going and when you expect to be back. Share any identifying information about the client if you have it.
🆘 Have a Safety Plan:
Think about what you would do if a client becomes threatening or makes you uncomfortable. Have a code word with a friend or a way to discreetly ask for help.
Dealing with a stalker client can be scary, but remember that you have the right to safety and to be left alone after a professional interaction ends. Don't hesitate to seek help from friends, support organisations, or the police if you feel unsafe.
Connect:
When possible reach out to a sex worker service. These are usually tailored to females however males may accepted too.
Note: Take advice from male sex workers closest to your age. Boomers etc usually provide outdated advice.
Talk:
When possible talk to someone with experience in sex work. Ask about dodgy clients and the red flags. What you are struggling with and what you are doing to cope.
🧑💼 Clients:
Never trust your client - no matter how nice, persuasive or the job they have. Help always comes with conditions
Clients must be aged 18 +
Prepare for any client to become a stalker. Do not give them personal information such as what your parents do, what school you went to, what location you live in.
Clients will always been seen as more reputable then you due to discrimination.
You may know your client when they arrive. This could be family friend, work mate, priest, politician, professor, local supermarket worker or someone about to die. If you know your client then best not to go through with the booking.
Do not share personal information with your client - they can become stalkers and use this information to harass you and intimidate you.
Choose Your Clients:
Only conduct business with clients you are comfortable with.
Males, females, trans women, trans males, cross dressers etc.
Confidentiality:
Keeping what you do with a client usually is kept secret. Except from when discussing bad clients.
Most clients will want you to ignore them in public - especially when they are with their work mates or wife and kids.
Some clients will approach you. This is usually when they are at a bar. You can act dumb - or get a free drink up to you.
👮 Police:
The police should help you where sex work is legal. However like any profession there are people better at their jobs than other. It can be a mixed experience and they can treat you like your profession not a human.
Don't be afraid to ask for another police person. You can ask for a different gender or just another police person.
Relationships:
It can be tough when your job is male sex work, and it can sometimes make personal relationships tricky. People love to gossip about sex workers - most get outed. Here's why, in simple terms:
Finding a Partner Can Feel Harder 💔:
Stigma is Real: Some people have negative ideas about sex work and might not want to date someone who does it. They might worry about what their friends or family think. Example: A guy, Mark, really liked someone he met, but when he told her he was a sex worker, she stopped talking to him because she felt uncomfortable.
Trust Issues: Partners might worry about jealousy or feel insecure, even if you have clear boundaries between work and your personal life. Example: David's boyfriend sometimes got upset thinking about David being intimate with other people, even though it was just part of his job.
Different Worlds: Your work life can be very different from a "normal" job, and it might be hard for someone outside that world to fully understand. Example: Ben found it hard to explain his day to his partner because his experiences were so different from his partner's office job.
Fear of Judgment: You might be scared to tell potential partners what you do, which can make it hard to be open and honest, which is important in a relationship.
Impact on Family Can Be Tough 😔:
Worry and Shame: Family members might worry about your safety, health, and what other people think of you and the family. They might feel ashamed or embarrassed. Example: Michael's parents were very upset when they found out about his work and worried about him getting hurt or sick.
Misunderstandings: Families might not understand what male sex work is really like and have wrong ideas about it. This can lead to arguments and distance. Example: James's brother thought he was being exploited and didn't understand it was James's choice.
Keeping Secrets: You might feel like you have to hide your work from your family, which can make it hard to have close and honest relationships with them.
Important Things to Remember:
It's Not Your Fault: How others react is about their own beliefs and understanding, not about your worth as a person. It can be a filter of shitty friends.
Some People Will Accept You: There are people out there who will be open-minded and accepting of who you are and what you do.
Honesty (When Safe): If you feel safe and comfortable, being honest with partners and family can sometimes lead to understanding, but it's okay to protect yourself if you're worried about their reaction.
Boundaries are Key: Just like in your work, having clear boundaries in personal relationships is important for your well-being.
Finding love and having good family relationships can be harder as a male sex worker because of stigma and misunderstandings. However, it's still possible to build meaningful connections with people who accept you for who you are.
Know Your Body:
Note: These quick checks are not a substitute for regular, thorough self-exams and regular visits to a sexual health clinic or doctor. They are just an extra layer of awareness to help you stay on top of your body's health.
Make it a habit: A quick peek before and a gentle scan after – it's all part of looking out for yourself 👍
Why a Pre-Check?
Know Your Baseline: It helps you remember what your "normal" looks and feels like, so you're more likely to spot something new later. Notice any blood? How is your anus feeling?
Peace of Mind: Knowing you're starting the encounter feeling okay can give you more confidence.
Quick Look After 👀:
Gentle Scan: After the encounter, take a few moments (maybe when you're showering or getting changed) to gently look at the same areas: penis and groin area, anus, mouth, skin that had contact. Any blood?
Notice Anything New: Are there any new red marks, irritation, or anything that wasn't there before?
Information for Later: If you do notice something a few days later, having a mental note of what things looked like right after can be helpful information for a doctor.
What to Do If You See Something 🤔:
Don't Panic! Not every spot or bump is serious, but it's always best to be sure.
Don't Try to Treat It Yourself. Let a doctor or nurse take a look.
Go to a Clinic or Doctor: They can give you a proper check-up and tell you what's going on. Sexual health clinics are really good for this.
Be Honest: Tell the doctor or nurse about your work so they can give you the best advice and tests.
Taking care of your body is part of taking care of your business and your health! Regular checks help keep you and your clients safer.
Communication:
Clear and written communication is like having a solid foundation for your work. It builds trust, keeps things safe, and helps you run your business smoothly.
💯 Be Super Clear: Use simple words and don't leave anything open to guessing.
❓ Ask Questions Make sure the client understands what you've said and ask them if they have any questions too.
🎯 Confirm Details: Before meeting, quickly go over the important things like time, place, mandatory condom use, cost of service and what's agreed upon.
🌀 Trust Your Gut: If something feels off in the messages, it's okay to say no or ask for more information.
📓 Keep Records Safely: If you're keeping messages, make sure they're stored securely to protect your privacy.
💪 Proof is Power: Written words are like having a record. If there's ever a disagreement about what was planned, you can look back at your messages.
🙅♀️ No "He Said, She Said" : With texts, it's clearer what was actually said, avoiding misunderstandings later on.
🧠 Easy to Remember: You can go back and reread messages to refresh your memory about the booking details.
🤫 Good for Shy Talkers: Some people find it easier to be clear and upfront in writing than in a face-to-face chat.
Work Mates?
It's sad but true that sometimes, even within the sex work community, male sex workers can face tough situations with other workers. Here's a simple rundown:
Other Sex Workers Can Sometimes Be Unfair 😔:
🤥 Lying About Clients: Some might tell you they did things with a client that they didn't really do. This can make you feel pressured to do more than you're comfortable with, or it can just be dishonest and create bad vibes.
💸 Stealing When Times Are Tough: If another worker is having a slow day and you seem to be doing well, they might try to steal money or belongings from you. It's a really unfair thing to do.
😠 Jealousy When You're Busy: If you're getting a lot of clients and someone else isn't, they might get jealous and say mean or hurtful things to you. It's their own feelings, but it can still sting.
🔪 Cutting Remarks ("Hurt People Hurt"): Sometimes, people who are feeling bad about themselves might try to make you feel bad too by saying nasty things or putting you down. It's often true that people who are hurting inside can lash out at others.
Why This Happens (The "Hurt People Hurt" Idea):
The world of sex work can be tough. People might be dealing with stress, financial worries, stigma from society, or their own past hurts. When people are feeling down or insecure, they might act out in negative ways towards others, even their own colleagues. It doesn't make it right, but it can sometimes explain why these things happen.
How to Protect Yourself:
👉 Be Careful Who You Trust: Just like in any job, not everyone will be a good person. Take time to get to know people and be cautious about sharing too much too soon.
👉 Keep Your Belongings Safe: Don't leave money or valuables lying around where others can easily take them.
👉 Set Boundaries: If someone is being negative or dishonest, try to limit your interactions with them. You don't have to put up with bad behavior.
👉 Find Your Allies: Look for other workers who are supportive and trustworthy. Having a good network can make a big difference.
👉 Focus on Your Own Success: Don't let someone else's jealousy or negativity bring you down. Concentrate on doing your best.
It's a shame when people in the same community don't support each other. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect, even by other sex workers. If someone is making you feel unsafe or bad, it's okay to create distance
2 or more
Pimps! 🙅♂️⛓️ Your Freedom Matters!
A pimp is someone who tries to control sex workers and make money off them. They might seem helpful at first, but working for a pimp usually means you lose your freedom and a lot of your money. It can be like being trapped 😔.
Why It's Best to Avoid Pimps:
💸➡️🙅♂️ They Take Your Money: Pimps often take a big cut of what you earn, leaving you with much less.
😠 They Control You : They might tell you who you can see, what you have to do, and when you have to work. You lose control over your own life and body.
🚨 It Can Be Dangerous: Pimps can put you in risky situations and might not care about your safety.
👤➡️🚫 You Can Be Isolated: They might try to keep you away from friends and other support systems.
👮 It's Often Illegal: Pimping and profiting from someone else's sex work is against the law in many places.
Remember: You have the right to make your own choices about your work and your life. Working independently or with trusted colleagues is usually much safer and gives you more control and more of your earnings. Stay away from anyone who tries to control you or take advantage of you! 💪❤️
Keep it Clean
Always shower before seeing a client, unless the client has requested you not to.
Shower after each client.
Put a sheet down in case of a shitty situation
Always make a client shower before service begins - regardless of when they say the have last had one
You can always have a shower with the client to make sure they are cleaning themselves properly.
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